For conspiracy theorist, such as my self, who think Facebook collects all your info and never deletes a message because FB is working with the FBI, this article is for you
Craig “lazie” Lynch, who defiantly can’t be one of my Facebook friends cause he would have seen my conspiracy theory statuses, escaped from Hollesey Bay Prison in September. Lazie continues to update his Facebook page while on the run, to can keep his friends and family informed on what he is doing.
A recent update reads: “Trying to figure out my plans for New Years. I know what I want to do but its not that easy.”
Guess I was wrong, or maybe they are just waiting it out so its not as obvious.
A New Year is amongst us and this New Year is kind of special. Why you ask? Because it is the start of a new decade. That’s right the 01’s and the 03’s and the 0’shit!!! It’s really been ten years since Y2K!!! Wow, how the time fly’s, and speaking of flying, wasn’t our cars supposed to be flying by now? What’s up with that? It’s 2010 man. We gave them an extra ten years and these scientists haven’t even come up with those Nikes that lace themselves like in the “Back to The Future” movie:
I don’t know who I should talk to about that but I’m disappointed in whoever it is…
Anyways, back to the New Year… So every year we make a New Years resolution saying we will do this or that, and then we break it by 3pm Jan, 1st when we wake up. This year being the start of a new decade I wanted to do something a little different. As we enter the New Year and leave the old decade behind us, we should leave a few things with it.
So I have composed a list of 20 things we should leave in the 00’s. Enjoy…
1. The Nerd Look: Wearing suspenders and high waters. That look would have come in handy when I was younger and couldn’t afford my growth spurts. I had “he’ll grow into em” pants or “this boys growing too fast” jeans. But this isn’t then yall just look silly. Cut it out
2. Reality TV shows: Reality? They aren’t even realistic. A bunch of hot chick living in a house fighting for the love of some cracked out hype man. Give me a break. That isn’t real. If you really want Reality TV get your ass up off the couch and go outside. F your couch.
3. Krumping: You look like a crackhead giving birth
4. Soulja Boy: I know its not going to happen but it really should
5. Skinny Jeans: I did a keyword search the other day and found Men’s Skinny jeans were searched more then 3X as much as women’s skinny jeans. SMH. I don’t understand, why buy tight, tight pants that can’t even fit over your ass and then sag them so that they can be a little baggy. Why not just buy baggy jeans that fit?
Or get some of these…
6. Kanye West Glasses. They are just not cool.
7. Celebrity Drama: Do we really have nothing better to do with our lives then worry about who’s sleeping with Tiger and how hard Chris Brown can punch? Have our lives become that boring that we let celebrities lives take over ours? If so maybe we should all start a hobby, or find a new way to improve at our job or something. If we all did that then maybe, just maybe someone could finally come up with those Back to the Future sneakers I was talking about. I really wanted those things lol
8. Dance Step Songs: Cha Cha Slide, and Heeeey Margarina blew up because they were some what original and fun. The new electric slides, but now they are like spamming the radio waves. Supper man, Halle Berry, Ricky Bobby, Jerk, 2 Step, Walk it out, Lip Gloss STOP IT PLEASE YOUR KILLING ME!!!
9. UGG’s: If the name didn’t say it all. Ladies truly love these ugly things but I challenge you to find a guy that thinks they look cute. I think someone put a spell on the women of America or brain washed them into thinking they look cute.
10. Auto Tune: I don’t know if its just me but when rappers use Auto Tune they sound like they are drowning in shitty water
11.Speaking in Acronyms: OMG why do people say LOL when they are face to face with a person? SMH, you do realize that you could actually laugh out loud if the person says something that makes you ROFL
12. Crocs: They look like a bucket that I use to play with in my sandbox.
13. RAP BEEF: First it was Biggie vs Pac, then Jay-z vs Nas and after people seen how much money they were making off of “beef” everyone wanted to do it. Then we got whole crews like Dip Set vs Roc’a Fella, too 50 cent vs “anyone that’s kind of hot around the time 50’s album is coming out,” too Eminem vs Boy bands, pop stars, and old people. You know it’s bad when Mariah Carey has a diss record. Its all WWE anyways, I miss the days when artist came together and made hot collaborations like “4, 3, 2, 1”.
**Yes I’m aware there was beef’s before Big and Pac and that 4, 3, 2, 1 was the song that started the Canibus vs LL BS but you get what I’m saying man**
14. Myspace
15. Parody Movies: “Don’t be a Menace,” funny; “Scary Movie 1,” funny; everything else terrible.
16. The 80’s: When you’re walking down the street with a 2 foot high-top fade, a dookie chain, and a 10 pound Boom Box that hold only two 90 minute cassette when an iPod Nano holds 8GB of music, you have taken it way too far.
17. BCS: It doesn’t even make sense. Who thought of using calculations and formulas to vote on who the best competing team is? Whatever happened to competing for number 1?
18. American Idol:
This use to be entertaining but when Sanjia makes it to the top 12 its time to call it quits.
19.leopard print Snuggie
20. Payphones
Who needs em…
****BONUS!!!****
+1. Girls Taking Pix on the Toilet
+2. Ed Hardy
+3. Half Shaved Head
It really doesnt work unless ur as fly as Cassy anyways
If you took the Red Line today into Boston you might have noticed there were more sluts on that train then usual. I know, I know the sluts usually take the Silver Line from Dudley to Chinatown. I’m not talking about those ones. I’m reffering to The Slutcracker, someone put these flyers in every seats on the Redline. Appearently it’s a play in Somerville thats kind of like The Nutcracker minus the family stuff and the nuts… Actually it probably has some nuts in it to lol.
Its an adult show, a parody of the The Nutcracker, set to the original score and recreated scene by scene. Starts December 10th, and is showing from Dec 10th-13th and 17th-20that the Somerville Theatre. I must say, I’m much more incline to go see this show then I was to see Samuel Jackson chase snakes around an aircraft.
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. What’s your deal? This story just gets weirder and weirder everyday. If nothing good comes out of this story, at least its a strong message to cheaters everywhere. The message is, Hey, Its Tiger. My wife looked through my phone… No, no, not that message. The message is DON’T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE… Or at least don’t send text messages, and leave voice mails, and take pictures of you in the act to ensure that you get caught up, idiot. Lol.
Man he has tons of women coming out of the wood work. Probably all feeling like they were getting cheated on every time a new chick pops up. Funny thought but how else would you explain why he has Vegas girls telling what happened in Vegas, a Cougar coming out the cage, and a cocktail waitress spilling the beans on how she played with Tigers Wood.
The latest news, some woman nearly dying in Tigers house in Florida. There was a 911 call from his address made some time last night. where the hell are these girls coming from??? – guess he was getting it in after that surgery. Well if your keeping count Tiger is about +10 on the green, club of choice The Wood. Lol.
Finally after laying low for a while due to the Taylor Swift mishap, Kanye returns to the stage. Kanye performed the remix to “Ego” with Beyonces at her London concert this past week. He took the stage in the middle of B performing the original song and said; “Hold on Beyonce, I’ma let you finish, but the Ego remix is the best remix of all times!!!” LOL just kidding, but wouldn’t that have been funny.
I was reading the Governors new plan to spend state stimulus money (9 million dollars) on a footbridge connecting the parking lots at Gillette Stadium. Wow, all the things that Massachusetts needs and he plans to spend it on a bridge for the Pats??? Man us Black people were fooled with this guy.
How ridiculous is this idea. If I was Governor even I could come up with a better way to spend stimulus money. Like if I was running for Gov I would run on the sole idea of “The Fat Lane.” My campaign would go like this…”Have you ever been in a rush, maybe late to work or some important meeting? We all have. Your making your way through the crowded street when your confronted with the 300lb sidewalk blocker, wobbling slowly down the street. You try to go around the right he wobbles right. So you try to go left but somehow his slow wobble beats you there. Next thing you know, you feel like your stuck behind a dump truck on a one way street and you late for work.
For this I present The Fat Lane. The Fat Lane is a lane similar to the bike lane right in the street for fat people to walk freely. There would be metal cutout in the shape of a round person at the corner of every main street. If someone can not fit through the cutout you go to the fat lane. To enforce it we’ll have a “Fat Patrol” giving out tickets. The Fat Patrol places a bright red ticket on the violators back. Too many tickets and they get towed. This plan creates jobs, promotes good health, and less crowded sidewalks without spending more then a few thousand bucks. I’m Moonairgotjokes and I approve this message.” lol I’m going to hell lmao
Moonairgotjokes's Blog 